Peaking: Kale Chips

Cucumis metuliferus: African Horned Melon

Everybody is talking about kale chips right now, reaching popularity on par with potato chips. This means it’s about time to hang up your food dehydrator (advanced hipsters: hang up your solar drying racks) or switch to making chips out of something that nobody has ever heard of. I suggest the African Horned Melon. If you do decide to try this make sure you cite the Latin name Cucumis metuliferus when responding to people asking you what bizarre dried fruit you are eating in the middle of a marketing meeting. It might also be a good idea to pick up a book or two on food dehydrating as it is something that will likely remain very hipster for at least another 5 years. Why not order “The Complete Guide to Drying Foods at Home: Everything You Need to Know about Preparing, Storing, and Consuming Dried Foods?” People that observe you reading it while on the bus or whatever public transit you have access to will see the impressive title and may ask you about dehydrating methods which is something you love to talk about.

Kale chips had a decent run, and I’m sure you can ride the wave for another couple of months if you want to make a quick cool-season organic cottage garden featuring bounties of fresh locally sourced kale and romanesco broccoli. Even though everyone has had the health benefits of kale pounded into their heads for the last year or so, it’s always hipster to be gardening, but only if it’s via locally sourced community gardens. It’s perfectly acceptable and even encouraged to have a bit of dirt underneath your fingernails. It will prompt questions which you can use to turn the topic to your gardening and talk for ten to fifteen minutes about the dangers of a monoculture and warn about how short-sited modern agricultural practices are.