Food Flash: Monovore Diet

Food is a central hub in hipster culture as everyone has to eat therefore everyone has to listen to you talk about what you eat. We’ve covered a lot of fad diets here at NHT, but it’s been awhile since we made the switch to paleo, and most people have heard of it and/or are doing it so it’s probably time to do something extremely different. After much thought we recommend becoming a monovore. What’s a monovore you ask? Never heard of it? Well that’s because I literally just made it up. Perfect.

It’s a simple concept really, you just pick a single food item and eat only that. Ever. It’s a great diet for NOW because people really admire strict diets that don’t allow for any incongruity. Now before you pick your one food … no cheating! You can’t say pizza or burritos because they are an amalgam of ingredients. It’s important that it is just one thing, even spice additions like the mainstays salt and pepper are off limits (unless you choose one of them as your only food source, but that will probably kill you in within a couple of days). I’m not going to limit your imagination by narrowing down just one suggestion (mine would be local, organic, grass fed, certified angus top-sirloin, medium rare, grilled), I invite you to be creative. A word of caution though, if you go with something with a lot of tannins you may physically take on the color of your food. I’m not a scientist, but I can say with relative certainty that in addition to being extremely gassy and generally unapproachable you will undoubtedly turn purple if you only eat beets. If you dare select onions or any member of the allium family like the uber-hot leek you are either a complete fool or a hipster beyond even my soothsaying.

Just imagine the looks on your friend’s faces at the farmers market when they see you load two reclaimed pallets full of avocados into your Subaru. “What are you doing with all of those avocados?” Look at them quizzingly, and a bit disappointed. “I’m going to eat them.” Pause for effect. “Only them.” Their jaws will be on the floor. Within seconds the questions will come firing in from all sides (which you’ll love) … “Won’t you get sick?” “Can you do that?” “Don’t you miss ice cream?” “Will you actually die?” Awesome. Now you get to drone on for about 37 minutes about “the dangers of combining too many food resources into variety” and “your need to re-connect with the avocado.” As always, if you follow our tried and true suggestions you’ll be on the fast track to elite hipsterdom. A word of caution though, avoid any lame processed foods as your monochoice, as that is completely impossible, even if you don’t know why.

Food Flash: Monovore Diet

Food is a central hub in hipster culture as everyone has to eat therefore everyone has to listen to you talk about what you eat. We’ve covered a lot of fad diets here at NHT, but it’s been awhile since we made the switch to paleo, and most people have heard of it and/or are doing it so it’s probably time to do something extremely different. After much thought we recommend becoming a monovore. What’s a monovore you ask? Never heard of it? Well that’s because I literally just made it up. Perfect.

It’s a simple concept really, you just pick a single food item and eat only that. Ever. It’s a great diet for NOW because people really admire strict diets that don’t allow for any incongruity. Now before you pick your one food … no cheating! You can’t say pizza or burritos because they are an amalgam of ingredients. It’s important that it is just one thing, even spice additions like the mainstays salt and pepper are off limits (unless you choose one of them as your only food source, but that will probably kill you in within a couple of days). I’m not going to limit your imagination by narrowing down just one suggestion (mine would be local, organic, grass fed, certified angus top-sirloin, medium rare, grilled), I invite you to be creative. A word of caution though, if you go with something with a lot of tannins you may physically take on the color of your food. I’m not a scientist, but I can say with relative certainty that in addition to being extremely gassy and generally unapproachable you will undoubtedly turn green if you only eat broccoli. If you dare select onions or any member of the allium family like the uber-hot leek you are either a complete fool or a hipster beyond even my soothsaying.

Just imagine the looks on your friend’s faces at the farmers market when they see you load two reclaimed pallets full of avocados into your Subaru. “What are you doing with all of those avocados?” Look at them quizzingly, and a bit disappointed. “I’m going to eat them.” Pause for effect. “Only them.” Their jaws will be on the floor. Within seconds the questions will come firing in from all sides (which you’ll love) … “Won’t you get sick?” “Can you do that?” “Don’t you miss ice cream?” “Will you actually die?” Awesome. Now you get to drone on for about 37 minutes about “the dangers of combining too many food resources into variety” and “your need to re-connect with the avocado.” As always, if you follow our tried and true suggestions you’ll be on the fast track to elite hipsterdom. A word of caution though, avoid any lame processed foods as your monochoice, as that is completely impossible, even if you don’t know why.

Membership Info

Hey, membership is free unless you want to help pay for site hosting. We wont make any promises but if you give us tiny amounts of money, then we dont have to pay the 10 or 15 bucks a month ourselves .. cant hurt asking. If we get a lot of money, we’ll make some cool stuff and, if you become a paid member, we’ll send it to you. Hows that. So .. just join for free and enjoy .. or help us out, it’s your choice

Membership Info

Hey, membership is free unless you want to help pay for site hosting. We wont make any promises but if you give us tiny amounts of money, then we dont have to pay the 10 or 15 bucks a month ourselves .. cant hurt asking. If we get a lot of money, we’ll make some cool stuff and, if you become a paid member, we’ll send it to you. Hows that. So .. just join for free and enjoy .. or help us out, it’s your choice

NOW: Obscure Holidays

Alright, everyone’s heard of the biggies: Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Independence Day (hey, if you’re not Christian or American it’s not my problem) … but what about the little-ies: Beautician’s Day, Chocolate Pudding Day, and Canoe Day? What if I told you that all three were TODAY?! Well they are and that means you’re already behind. That is unless like me, you’re presently canoeing whilst liberally applying a chocolate pudding-based facial mask to your friend Theo in homage to the beautician profession (textbook multi-trending).

As you should know by now, the bottom line is that a lot of what we hipsters do is for one reason alone … we want people to notice us and ask us questions so we can tell them all about how whatever it is we are doing is important or interesting. Now with any luck they will never have heard of it before, and if they have that’s cool to, because odds are the WAY we are doing it is different than your average normal or even low-level hipster. Case in point: obscure holidays. This whole arena is crazy-ripe for hipster picking. From a couple of minutes of random perusal of daysoftheyear.com I can confirm that it’s a veritable treasure trove for the hip. I mean, Tuesday was “Fairy Day.” Why the hell didn’t I think of this sooner. I could have showed up to the marketing meeting wearing green tights, pink hair, and coiled-toed fairy slippers. Imagine the dumbfounded reactions of my co-workers? “Whaa, what the hell are you wearing Kory?” “Oh this? It’s Fairy Day. Are you just wearing normal business-casual to be ironic?” Their jaws would be on the floor. So we missed that one but it’s okay.

Looking ahead there’s some excellent advantages to wow them in the month of July alone, including but not limited to: Cow Appreciation Day, Teddy Bear Picnic Day, Don’t Step on a Bee Day, Embrace Your Geekiness Day, Pandemonium Day, Tapioca Pudding Day, Yellow Pig Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day, Lumberjack Day, Thread The Needle Day, Talk In An Elevator Day. Dang, we’re already doing most of this stuff, we just need to do it with more gusto on the assigned days! Whatever you do don’t celebrate the “holidays” of the normals like the upcoming staple “Independence Day.” Use it as an opportunity to advance your cause, which in this case is vegetarianism (or better yet veganism).

NOW: Obscure Holidays

Alright, everyone’s heard of the biggies: Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Independence Day (hey, if you’re not Christian or American it’s not my problem) … but what about the little-ies: Beautician’s Day, Chocolate Pudding Day, and Canoe Day? What if I told you that all three were TODAY?! Well they are and that means you’re already behind. That is unless like me, you’re presently canoeing whilst liberally applying a chocolate pudding-based facial mask to your friend Theo in homage to the beautician profession (textbook multi-trending).

As you should know by now, the bottom line is that a lot of what we hipsters do is for one reason alone … we want people to notice us and ask us questions so we can tell them all about how whatever it is we are doing is important or interesting. Now with any luck they will never have heard of it before, and if they have that’s cool to, because odds are the WAY we are doing it is different than your average normal or even low-level hipster. Case in point: obscure holidays. This whole arena is crazy-ripe for hipster picking. From a couple of minutes of random perusal of daysoftheyear.com I can confirm that it’s a veritable treasure trove for the hip. I mean, Tuesday was “Fairy Day.” Why the hell didn’t I think of this sooner. I could have showed up to the marketing meeting wearing green tights, pink hair, and coiled-toed fairy slippers. Imagine the dumbfounded reactions of my co-workers? “Whaa, what the hell are you wearing Kory?” “Oh this? It’s Fairy Day. Are you just wearing normal business-casual to be ironic?” Their jaws would be on the floor. So we missed that one but it’s okay.

Looking ahead there’s some excellent advantages to wow them in the month of July alone, including but not limited to: Cow Appreciation Day, Teddy Bear Picnic Day, Don’t Step on a Bee Day, Embrace Your Geekiness Day, Pandemonium Day, Tapioca Pudding Day, Yellow Pig Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day, Lumberjack Day, Thread The Needle Day, Talk In An Elevator Day. Dang, we’re already doing most of this stuff, we just need to do it with more gusto on the assigned days! Whatever you do don’t celebrate the “holidays” of the normals like the upcoming staple “Independence Day.”

NOW: Obscure Holidays

Alright, everyone’s heard of the biggies: Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Independence Day (hey, if you’re not Christian or American it’s not my problem) … but what about the little-ies: Beautician’s Day, Chocolate Pudding Day, and Canoe Day? What if I told you that all three were TODAY?! Well they are and that means you’re already behind. That is unless like me, you’re presently canoeing whilst liberally applying a chocolate pudding-based facial mask to your friend Theo in homage to the beautician profession (textbook multi-trending).

As you should know by now, the bottom line is that a lot of what we hipsters do is for one reason alone … we want people to notice us and ask us questions so we can tell them all about how whatever it is we are doing is important or interesting. Now with any luck they will never have heard of it before, and if they have that’s cool to, because odds are the WAY we are doing it is different than your average normal or even low-level hipster. Case in point: obscure holidays. This whole arena is crazy-ripe for hipster picking. From a couple of minutes of random perusal of daysoftheyear.com I can confirm that it’s a veritable treasure trove for the hip. I mean, Tuesday was “Fairy Day.” Why the hell didn’t I think of this sooner. I could have showed up to the marketing meeting wearing green tights, pink hair, and coiled-toed fairy slippers. Imagine the dumbfounded reactions of my co-workers? “Whaa, what the hell are you wearing Kory?” “Oh this? It’s Fairy Day. Are you just wearing normal business-casual to be ironic?” Their jaws would be on the floor. So we missed that one but it’s okay.

Looking ahead there’s some excellent advantages to wow them in the month of July alone, including but not limited to: Cow Appreciation Day, Teddy Bear Picnic Day, Don’t Step on a Bee Day, Embrace Your Geekiness Day, Pandemonium Day, Tapioca Pudding Day, Yellow Pig Day, Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day, Lumberjack Day, Thread The Needle Day, Talk In An Elevator Day. Dang, we’re already doing most of this stuff, we just need to do it with more gusto on the assigned days!