Trending up: Growing your own wheat

hipstergardenGreen acres really is the place to beLater-stage hipsters, who have moved out of their studio apartments to the country, are all about self-sustainment, locally-sourced food, and certified organic crops. This means big things are coming for wheat! Wheat is grown on more land area than any other commercial food, so why not take up a half acre or so of your permacultural paradise and raise your own. You can select a non-genetically modified certified Portland Organic heirloom variety and get sowing! If you don’t know much about gardening make sure to get some books on it. If you already know everything about gardening get some books anyway. Books are the best way for you to advertise that you are not just a consumer, but a contributor to global food production. I’d pick up “Small-Scale Grain Raising: An Organic Guide to Growing, Processing, and Using Nutritious Whole Grains for Home Gardeners and Local Farmers.” It’s a great title because people will see the words “Organic,” “Whole Grains,” and “Local,” all of which are hugely hot right now.

Here’s the best part: when you’re done growing your own wheat, you get to process it and make bread from it! This will literally make people believe you are a king amongst hipsters. You can bring loves of bread to the marketing meeting at work along with butter that you’ve churned! (article on that coming soon.) Don’t wheat too long! (see what I did there?) Wheat is lava hot right now, but like most things that you can do to display how incredible and quirky you are, it’s eventually doomed to decline.