Step one is to have a friend with a local organic BPA-free free-range grass-fed milking cow. You should already have a friend like this is you’re any kind of semi-respectable hipster, but if you don’t you can always find one a Whole Foods co-op or the local feed store. Next, you will need to insist on milking the cow yourself. This will be something you can talk about a lot and animal husbandry is nuclear hot right now. Don’t just milk the cow sitting on an overturned plastic bucket. Be sure to use an antique vintage white oak milking stool. If your farmer friend doesn’t have one you can buy one and when you’re down take it back to your studio apartment as it will be an excellent conversation starter. “That’s an odd little chair over there in the corner.” “Oh, that’s not a chair, that’s my milking stool.” “Milking stool, really?” You’ll love this. Try to get someone to take Polaroid pictures of you milking the cow. You can have them on the wall near your milking stool. As for your growing hipster library, I’d recommend “Forgotten Arts and Crafts.” After you’ve harvested that sweet nipple nectar all that’s left to do is churn and reap the profits of hipster stardom at that marketing meeting.
- hipsterbutter
- Churning up: Churning butter