Trending up: Hair

toothpaste for your head?
scrub that hair, hipster

So what if Grandma called them “dirty hippies”, we all know that modern day hipsters bathe and then reapply their tightly controlled pigpen look. Taking pride in their manes of flowing patchouli-stink hair swirled in a needless Beiber-esque “comb-across“. But why take a shower using traditional shampoo? Doing so obviously scores you no elitist membership club points. Shampoo is full of “chemicals” and potential carcinogens. In fact, many hipsters are pointing their pretentious fingers at manufactured items, wondering what’s really in the ingredients and what are these ingredients doing to their health? Bygone are the days of the dirty hippy, so if you must shower, how can you be more hip about it?

Step one: run to the cupboard, grab all the baking soda and vinegar you can find. Step two: while it may feel gritty at first, mush some of the baking soda and water through your locks, make sure to swirl it straight across your forehead. To the left if you’re east of the Mississippi. Step three: (the most important step in my book) Don’t rinse, just give yourself a good splash of vinegar conditioning treatment. While the battle rages on over the best vinegar: apple cider, white distilled or ancient Greek Oxymelo, the number of uses for this kitchen ingredient certainly continues to grow. Take it as a badge of pride when the other hipsters look at your foaming swirly hairdoo and call you “volcano head.” For added pizzaz, pre-vagazzle, try using the same process for your hair down there. ZOWIE!