Veganism: OVER!, Paleo diet: Now or never

Hipsters love to discuss food.  They don’t call it food though, they call it gastronomy, because it makes it sound way more important, and it’s likely that whoever they are addressing hasn’t heard of gastronomy and will ask them “what’s gastronomy?”  From there they will get to sort of roll their eyes and describe in detail their gourmet tastes and openness to new ideas and things like eating organs.  Hipsters don’t eat food for the same reasons that most people do (hunger, sustenance), they eat food so they can talk about it and make obscure references that people have never heard of.  They also eat food to make political and societal statements.

Hence the rise of veganism.  For a long time veganism was the perfect diet for hipsters.  It was obscure, it was political, and most importantly… it involves a lot of talking.  “What can you eat?” “Why can’t you eat this?” “Where can we go to eat?” …hipsters live for these kinds of questions.  Unfortunately for actual devout vegan hipsters, data confirms that veganism is OVER!  Just too many people have heard of it because the few people who were/are vegan never shut up about it.  So, what’s next?  The polar opposite of course!  Paleo!  We’ve found in our studies of hipsters that once something becomes too mainstream the best move is to ask yourself what the exact opposite is and do that.  A solid example of this is skinny jeans.  What does a hipster do in times of baggy carpenter pants?  The exact opposite.

The paleo diet is very hot right now, almost too hot, so if you’re considering making the change from veganism over to paleo, do it now!  I caution you that once too many people know about paleo it could very well swing back the other way.  One thing’s for sure, if you do switch to paleo make sure you get a few books on it and have them laying around your studio apartment on your self-made reclaimed wood coffee table.  That way people will ask you about it and you’ll get to drone on for several minutes about “returning to humanities roots,” and “the way our bodies evolved to eat.”