Why HAWT, why NAWT?
(this works best if you click on the video below and read while the guy is playing)
So, our old site, NextHipsterTrend.com, had been a glorious lightning rod. A buddy-holly-glasses wearing neo-nerd muse which inspired deep exploration of all things hipster. We successfully and simultaneously skewered and celebrated all things hip. From banjos and brewer beards to whack ass diets, shelf-elfing and artisanal pencil sharpening, nexthipstertrend.com honored hipster culture by satirically magnifying it. Now, the “hipster” is a ubiquitous feature of society. We’ve put all the content of nexthipstertrend.com in the archives of hawtnext.com.
Well, we are often victims of our own successes just as we absolutely benefit from our failures. Our success is that we’ve plumbed the skinny jean-ed, yerba matte filled depths of all things hipster. We’ve created, presaged and postmortem’d our subject until we stood above the corpse of our muse, rapier wits dripping in blood and wheatgerm juice, realizing the dead horse was well flogged.
Our failure was to, due to life circumstance, allow the domain nexthipstertrend.com to be absconded by Latona’s Domain Marketplace. They wanted $349.00 to buy it, we offered $5.00. This first-world fail iwas actually a gift because as a result, we decided to expand our target set. Thank you Latona!
Well, they finally got tired of holding our baby ransom. So, due to our zen like patience, we just bought back nexthipstertrend.com for $2.99 … HAHAHAHA … Yes! We won the internet … a little bit.
Now, we’re free to turn our ribaldry upon not just the hip, but all things that are trending .. we call them the HAWTNEXT! “Hawt” is not only a colloquial for “Hot”, as in currently popular, it’s also an anagram for “WHAT” .. as in *forehead slap* “What Next!?!” So now we are truly free, free to make fun of ..er.. honor the diverse rainbow of culture cliques and sociotropes which metastasized from the hipster .. Yuccies, Oldsters, Health Goths, Technoratti, Sea Punks, Proto-Cons, GenderBlends, Quantums and of course good ol’ Hipsters… the list is now hopelessly endless!
So raise that handcrafted cider mug up to the early 2000’s hipster, twist the point of your fake mustache, listen while Lyke strums a dirge on his ukulele, singing in elvish, and toast to the future, toast to whats HAWTNEXT.com
Hawt Next is the next generation trend parody site. As we create the second iteration of Next Hipster Trend; there are some things we’ve learned … one of which is that when you are smart and omniscient like us, you come up with ideas for which there is value in claiming that authorship. Here’s a list of them. We’ll debunk our own trademark claims if that needs to happen.
- Virtual Surreality, 12/06/15. <– Well, this is immediately debunked because there’s some architectural firm that simulates it’s projects and calls it Virtual Surrealism. Total waste of a good concept if you ask me but, they came up with it first.
- Previsionism, 12/13/15. <— DAMN you Eduardo Crum *Fist Shaking* 🙂
- The Gilderman Hypothesis:
Kory Gilderman has developed the theory that within reasonable scale, the older and smaller something is, the more hawt it is. He’ll explain this in his TEDx talk some day with a tiny infographic.
We’ve developed this trope for the use of eco-activists. Please attribute so we can make money from your use of #deadcanary.
- #proneductivity, 11/05/18: Any work that is done while laying down which does not require one to be prone. Specifically in response to other workplace ergonomic trends.
Came from the gloriously time wasting Noun Project site.
- Trendblend – Taking two or more seemingly divergent trends and weaving them together to make one, possibly more annoying, new trend. E.g. Unicycle Archery
- Hawtster – One who pursues the next hawtest thing or wishes to be in on the latest trend in an effort to be unique, this often fails leaving the Hawtster a Nawtster.
- Hawt Pursuit – any effort, hopefully started, but at least chronicled, on hawtnext.com which could be considered an up and coming trend worth pursuing.
- Tropebust – to actively unravel an existing trope, often by pursuing and promoting counter-punctual tropes.