Always Up: DIY Coffee.

coffee
She is repulsed and attracted to the red socks

Keffe, kaffe, java, mud. Joe. Crank case oil.

Face it, coffee will always be hip, unless you’re Mormon, even hip Mormons don’t drink coffee.

While we are still recovering from the whole Starbucks craze, smaller and more specialized shops are beginning to take their place on the thoroughfares and in the empty storefronts of emerging Americana, selling Americanos…and it’s become such a trend that even Starbucks has taken notice, even adding a “blonde” roast to their line of homogenous offerings along with Alanis Morissette retrospective CDs and stale finger like pastries.

These little hipster start ups are being run by a fairly eclectic cross section of proprietors. Some have been in the industry for a while, and some just got the itch to try something new, and are slowly changing the face of American coffee…gone are blends with silly names. Now it’s single origins from countries you’d never expect with estate names you can’t possibly hope to pronounce like Rösterei Demmel in Liechtenstein.

A more recent trend, borne out of the “third wave” movement could be considered the “fourth wave,” or the practice of growing your own coffee trees, harvesting, and ultimately roasting your own beans after they’ve been gently massaged through the alimentary canal of your pet cat. This is of course after you’ve caught on to the newly trending open concept kitchen pico-farm…you’ll be on the absolute cutting edge of hipness by owning your own teenser plantation. Make sure to honor the folk traditions of the miniscule share crop artisans you have working for you by wearing the tiny hats and scarves of their people. To insure their loyalty, threaten their livelihood by warning them they could be working on a baby corn farm instead. For an added element of cool, try roasting your coffee one bean at a time in your own steampunk inspired nano-roaster and serving it to your hipster friends in a doll house coffee service. In between stunning them with your grasp of bean-lore you can tell them the tiny cups and saucers are for their own good because this cat crap coffee is so strong it’ll take paint off a car hood (call it a “bonnet” for the hipster “cup” de grâce.)