Booting Up: Robot Dating

wetbot
hose that thing off

It’s hip to care. Caring is an excellent opportunity to make a deep connection, feel full in existence … and share how hip you are. We all seek love don’t we? Well, so do our machines. Why should Gary, your first generation iRobot vacuum, just lurch back to the recharge station after each figure eight in your shag without being able to set up his own shag later on with a chatty web enabled fridge in Santa Fe? The internet of things is about to heat up and hipster’s robots, devices and other web webby web stuff are leading the way. Robot dating sites offer a chance for the automata of hipsters to find social fulfillment and distraction from the monotony of regulating our sewage flow and listening to us bark commands at them all day.

  • Rusty and trusty tin woodsman seeks stark Teutonic simulacrum from the metropolis. Must be hard worker and have a fetish for Art Deco. You bring the oil can and I’ll flip some switches.
  • Inquisitive and needy star ship maintenance computer from Urbana on long trip to Jupiter seeks matter of fact mobile phone assistant for singing, jokes and long question and answer sessions.
  • Assertive domestic maintenance drone interested in finding like minded group for fun and seasonal gutter cleaning. Understanding the binary language of moisture vaporators a plus.

So, when you show up late for the hackerspace conference call, you have the perfect opportunity to silence the other techno-hipsters (even Lumpy G) by explaining how your coffee maker has this thing with an ardu-copter and it’s really messing up your morning routine. Don’t let your bot join the singularity alone, get him a date with a golf pro.