Poised: Massive Books

bigbook
Truly a coffee table book
You’re at the neighborhood rent-a-cubical “Co-Lab“, having paid $5 to be able to sit and look like you have clients .. what next to do to fully stake your hipster claim? All the other shiftless contract-creatives are lounged out with their eTablets and iThingys … how to make your mark? Why not set your Yerba Matte down and, opening your over-sized waxed canvas rucksack, pull out a massive book? Nothing says I’m oblique and enigmatic like a huge and exquisitely bound tome covering all agricultural patents from 1876 through 1901. Make sure to dust it off for extra effect. Don’t go for white gloves though, everyone will know you’re a fake. A leather bound pen set and smaller, also hard bound, notebook make a perfect compliment. Set the book down as softly as possible on the Ikea coffee table in front of you and begin to thumb slowly, reverently through the pages. They will make a wonderful sweeping sound as you lovingly turn each one. Stop 12 pages in, then back to page 8. Make a note in your journal. Make a ceremony out of opening your pen set. Go back and forth between pages 8 and 12 before writing one word in your journal. Then go on. Stop at some point, cough mildly and look very closely at one of the newspaper sized pages. Then quick to the journal, then back. Savor the wonder of the fellow Co-Lab tenants as they swirl in inadequacy and belittlement. You have arrived.