NOW: Rescue Chickens

He was so happy, for 5-6 weeks
He was so happy, for 5-6 weeks
According to this article, which was posted to our facebook page by reader Ken Savage (thanks!), many less-committed hipters are presently abandoning their backyard, free-range, ethically-raised, cage-free, organic chickens.

But don’t fret, elite hipsters turn lemons into lemonade. Well, more accurately they turn salak into juice-salak. What’s bad news for other hipsters is awesome news for you! Tomorrow morning at the artisan coffee shop you can nail (never staple) an advertisement to the cork board: “Rescue Chickens Wanted!” Leave your name and contact information. You could ask them to send a telegraph, in the event that you’re no-phoning and wait for them to flock (ha) to you with beautiful, attention-grabbing birds. Many of them will no longer lay eggs and about 37% will be roosters, but no matter, you’re not in this for the eggs … you’re in this for the cause! Once you’ve set up your rooftop coop along side your roof cow, you’ll be able talk at length how disgusted you are that some people just bought a bunch of chickens because it was a fad, and when it became slightly difficult they just gave up on their birds.

As for those of you who are abandoning the birds … why is it that the popularity of urban poultry farming is dwindling? It’s the poop right? poop. But there are other factors such as noise, smell, work, and a steadily amassing hatred for those stupid bastard birds.